I remember I am supposed to say something in my speech about
how great it is to see so many patent attorneys gathered together. I suspect I am going to need a lot of alcohol
to do this bit with conviction. But it
is apparently important that CIPA provides a “community” to which all these eccentric
misanthropes can belong, and Congress was the kindest place we could think of
to put them.
As a chemist, I find it fascinating to watch a gathering of
CIPA members. Most of the time they
bounce off one another irritably, like a bucketful of negatively charged
particles. But if you introduce a
catalyst, for example a normal human being, they begin to coalesce, forming sinister
huddles and mumbling darkly to one another about added subject matter. I call this “ironic bonding”. It is intended to communicate, to the normal
human being, that however irritating your fellow patent attorneys, they are
infinitely better company than someone who has never learnt how to draft a
multiple dependent claim.
I think I will add something to my speech about being nice
to Other People. Especially stupid and
unskilled Other People. I will say it is great to see so many patent attorneys gathered together but perhaps if we could
try not to look like vultures it would be nice.
Especially since we are being filmed.
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