Monday, 29 September 2014
Fifty shades of Strategic Plan
26 September 2014
On the back of our special not-a-Council-meeting, Mr Davies has written us a fabulous three-year strategic plan, and Council has accidentally approved it. Now Mr Lampert is busy turning it into a swanky fold-out leaflet to impress everyone at Congress.
Tactful as ever, I tell them the swanky leaflet looks too macho. I say they must get rid of the photo of the sharp-suited business man with the hard hat under his arm who looks like something out of Fifty Shades of Grey, and replace it with a picture of some girlies eating caramel custard tarts, which is what CIPA is really about these days.
They put in a picture of some cogs instead.
Later, they add some salmon pink highlights, to humour me. I would have preferred custard yellow.
The strategic plan tells us all the wonderful things we are going to do for CIPA members. It is full of modern stuff like “stakeholder map”, “push communication”, “virtual networking” and “policy playbook”. I think “policy playbook” sounds a bit naughty, but I like the idea of “mixed social and learning events”, which presumably means being allowed to chat to your friends while someone is giving a Powerpoint® presentation in the background. We could offer some mixed inebriation and refreshment opportunities alongside. Yes, I like the sound of that a lot.