The EyePeePee, Mr Davies and I are going to meet some patent
attorneys in Cardiff. It is gig number
two of our Grand Tour. We decide we will
walk from where we are now to where we need to be because the map makes it look
very easy. It turns out to be a stupid
map and because of the stupid map we get a little bit hideously lost. The long straight pink thing on the stupid
map is actually a long straight flyover which has an air about it of not
being adapted for pedestrians.
At last we find a tourist information map. Yay!
Our joy is short-lived, however, because the You Are Here arrow is in
the top left corner. Which, forgive my
bluntness, means that this is basically a map of
somewhere-you-are-on-the-edge-of. The
somewhere-we-want-to-be is not on the map at all.
In emergency situations like this, it is important for the
team to function effectively. But none
of us is prepared to be Project Manager because of what happens on The Apprentice. So we divide the work thus: the EyePeePee finds
our destination on Google® Maps and leads us off down a tow path into someone’s
back garden. I phone the patent
attorneys we are supposed to be visiting and apologise for being on a tow path
and not in their meeting room. And Mr
Davies deals with sending tweets. To
make sure that everyone knows that CIPA’s EyePeePee and VeePee cannot even lead
an expedition to Cardiff Bay let alone a Chartered Institute.
Our hosts are very understanding. When we arrive, they offer us Welsh cakes and
60 different varieties of tea, not one of which is normal enough for Mr
Davies. He is an ex-plumber and plumbers
are not used to having breakfast tea with essence of lychee, any more than they
would want quinoa with their eggs.
We ask our hosts what they think of CIPA. They say CIPA is alright; would you like
another Welsh cake? We say but what about
the webinars, and the Journal, and
Congress, and Mr Lampert’s wizzy e-newsletter with the light bulbs at the
top? They say, yeah, these things are
alright too; do have another Welsh cake.
The Welsh cakes are more than alright; they are perfect
after our route march through Cardiff this morning. Mr Davies is alright too, despite having to
drink tea with essence of alpine buttercups: he has found someone to talk to
about dartboards. Patented dartboards,
no less. Everyone is happy.
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