It may surprise you to learn that I have a dictionary at
home. One of the old-fashioned ones,
with front and back covers and some sheets of paper in between. It says that dignity is the quality of being
worthy of respect. And to some, that appears
to mean not stooping below a certain level.
But perhaps dignity actually
means not having to stoop at all.
Perhaps dignity involves recognising that we are all at the same level
anyway, regardless of background or job title, age, gender, race, wealth,
religion, sexuality or anything else.
No-one should ever have to stoop to engage with another human being.
If you see dignity as something aloof and
ceremonious, then there are relatively few human activities that would count as
dignified. Childbirth is not dignified, believe
me, and nor are the things that come before or after it. Scraping a screaming toddler off a
supermarket floor is not dignified, especially if there is a half-melted ice
cream involved. There is little dignity
in falling in love (or at least, not the way I do it), or falling over your
shoelaces when you’ve had too much to drink with your friends (ditto). And where is the dignity in fear, and in failure? In illness, pain, grief, death?
But in reality, of course, these are exactly the things
which do impart dignity. Because they make us human. So why would you want to “rise above” them? Surely being dignified means accepting your
essential human-ness, and being prepared to share it? Admitting you don't always know what you're doing. Confessing to a mistake or two. Letting your hair down; laughing when you shouldn't; weeping when you're supposed to be strong. Dignity is a human quality; it forgives and
accommodates; it is not rigid and rule-based and pompous.
In my view, dignity does not put its wearer on a
pedestal. It sees them continually
humbled by their fellow men and women, and constantly out there engaging and
learning. Dignity requires us to
recognise and value the things that draw us together, not the things that set
us apart.
Dignity is also an anagram of “gin tidy”. Now there’s something for my Christmas list:
the gin cupboard is sheer chaos at the moment.
Just saying.
No comments:
Post a Comment